Come What May and Love It

Several years ago our teenage daughter was in the hospital.   She developed some form of adolescent dementia and did not recognize us for many weeks. The visiting hours were only for a couple of hours a day and I thought I was going to lose my own mind.  Here when she was at her sickest I could not be there to comfort her, sit by her, even hold her hand.  I did not care if she didn't recognize me, I just wanted to be there.  The pain in my heart was palpable and I paced and paced and cried and cried.

Another child had experienced a similar episode years earlier(the autism and neurological bug had bitten our family AND hard)! People had offered advice from exorcisms to alkaline water so I had turned into a semi-hermit to avoid odd suggestions.  My mind would not accept that this would happen again to another child so I had been in denial for months.  My mom had called and told me she had noticed some signs and I got mad.  My husband was worried and I gave him the cold shoulder.  It took my grandma, who had passed away,  coming to me in a dream and telling me, "You will need to be very strong.  I am going to hug you so you can bear what is going to take place" for me to take notice. The next day I called EVERYBODY! I was worried someone had passed away or some catastrophic event had occurred. On the way to school, I started talking to my daughter and suddenly she did not make any sense. She was completely confused. I was still in such denial do you know I still dropped her off?  People judge others in weird circumstances and often say, "Heck, I would never do that! What were they thinking???" I am here to tell you the brain is a complex organ and just as real as my daughter's delusions were at that time, I had a delusion too that "All was well".

The school called a couple hours later and informed us our poor daughter thought the school was going to be attacked and there was a bomb threat. They had the whole place on lock-down! When I finally accepted she was unwell we had to check her into the hospital for her safety and I could not believe my worst nightmare was happening again.  Sometimes before visiting hours, my legs would be so weak I could not stand.  At those times I felt "someone" holding my legs up.  Some unseen force helped me walk in and spend time with my daughter that did not know I was her mother. I thought of my dream where my deceased grandmother had hugged me and realized she was probably helping me again.

After a few days, I was a basket case! My daughter could not shower or comb her hair and no one was helping her do those things at the hospital. She looked terrible!!!   I was so ANGRY at the hospital for not caring for her and I called over and over to try to get extended visiting hours.  After one particular bad phone conversation,  I yelled a loud prayer up to heaven in my kitchen and said, "God, I have washed so many strangers over the years in the hospital! God, I have used those shampoo trays and clipped long toenails! I have helped new mothers with their babies! Why won't someone help my daughter? Please send me something! Anything or I will not last this day".  A few minutes later the doorbell rang! It was the relief society president with a loaf of pumpkin bread.  I asked her how she knew I needed her "right then". She just said she did.  She calmed me down and gave me a measure of peace.  While she was there the hospital called and extended my visiting hours to "anytime I needed". I rushed to my daughter's side and stayed there several hours a day.

When our daughter's illness went on and on, the relief society president gave me a special sign I have kept in my kitchen ever since. (see below), "Come what may and love it".Today, many years later,  this daughter has made a remarkable recovery

                                                       "Come What May and Love It"

Today I am fasting and praying and making food for this same relief society president that helped me so many years ago. Her husband was in an accident and because of the present rules surrounding hospital visitation with the Coronavirus....her family may not be able to see him, or at the very least, have limited contact... I want them to know I feel their pain. I know what it's like to pace and cry then pace again! I cannot hug them because of the "social distancing" that is in place, but I am going to drop "the sign" by and a loaf of bread on their porch.

I do not know the meaning of all things or even many things.  But I know there is a God in Heaven and he does answer prayers.  Sometimes, and often, not in the way we think.  I know that our relatives who have passed on before are there for us, holding up our legs, hugging us in our dreams. They are our angels; and that power is stronger than any coronavirus, accident, any illness.