God's Love

I am still trying to figure out how to communicate with the special young man in my charge on Sundays. Born without a hippocampus, the flight control center of the brain, he wasn't estimated to live long let a lone walk. Yet, here he is walking, smiling and even "signing" some basic language skills.  Overall, he is quite active and loves to move around. There was one time, last Sunday, when he sat still. It was during singing time when his sister and I were trying hard by hand gestures(some signing some charades)to communicate the words to the song, " Heavenly Father Loves Me". As he wrapped his arms around himself in a hug to show the sign for "yes I know Heavenly Father loves me", his face changed.  For a moment heaven and earth were one and the Holy Ghost flooded that primary room. I knew he had a sure knowledge that YES! Heavenly Father loved him! Beyond that, he was confident in that love and there was no questioning or feeling that God's love was not enough for him. I had to admit to myself that in the past, sometimes my confidence on how God felt about me had wavered. Many of these times were brought on by trials out of my control and I wondered what I had done to perhaps bring down the wrath of God on my head. At those times,  when I have questioned God's love for myself as an individual, I have felt a hole in my heart that could not be filled and I had tried other activities, some good-some not as good, perhaps seeking to fill that hole with whatever I could find.  I was crying then when I saw a small child with not the easiest road, still capable of  feeling God's love and being confident in that love.  He was content and trusting in the Lord. I had been praying about strengthening my trust in God...If this pure conduit of a boy could be content  in the Lord even through his trials, maybe I could be too and "Yes, I suddenly knew Heavenly Father Loved Me too".

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It Came Upon A Midnight Clear

The presents, the stockings and rising early before the sun rose up trying to see Santa are all beloved memories from my youth. I LOVED Christmas and bought into the whole North Pole fantasy without a second thought. To a child, the magic and promise  of "good things happening to the world" was not so hard to buy into. Fresher from heaven and angels, as a child, I did not think it was unusual for one man to load up his sleigh and visit every single house on Christmas Eve.  Of course he knew my name and every other child's name on earth. I did not have trouble believing in a babe that was born in a manger either.  Why wouldn't the donkeys, sheep and cattle surround that place and worship their Heavenly King?The thought of a salutory star rising in the Eastern sky,   guiding wisemen and sheperds made perfect sense. As the years have passed , my childlike faith has been replaced not so much with doubt, but with its bed-fellow fear.  The trials of the mortal j...
Read more

The leaf

Tears have spilled over onto my soggy pillowcase. Their damp, unwanted presence seep into my dream and interrupt my subconscious wanderings. I rub my sleep weary eyes in an attempt to reorient myself in time.  Where am I ? In my last thought I was old and then in the next scene I was young. My body turns and morphs somewhere to an inbetween indeterminate age.  "This is so silly, why can't my body make up it's mind if I'm young, old or somewhere in between?" And then , "Because you are all of those things! You are young, you are old, and not only in between,  you are eternal!" "Oh of course I am!Mr. Sandman!!Ok, if that's possible then take me back to the place where my kids were little, cuz that was the hardest yet best time of my life! So I teleported, actually Dave drove me in our old teal dodge van  which suddenly had the magical properties of a time machine, complete with the messy food stained carseats. We flew back to the beautiful wh...
Read more

Rain in the desert

Image
It rained last night and there is no better thing to a parched desert floor. Dust swirls up and meets the rain and combines into wondrous mud. Previously dirt-strewn roads are suddenly clean and shiny. Small puddles of mirrored water become impromptu baths for desert fowl or swimming pools for Jessie's tiny toes. I did not miss this delightful morning because I actually had a day off! Going through the papers in Jessie's backpack I am confounded that the pile of notices from the school has mysteriously multiplied overnight. How does this happen? I unfold a pink paper and I realize I am going to miss the Mom's and Muffins again ... working that day too. Dani says " Who's going to help Jessie remember her "dance moves" when she tries out for the talent show? Aren't you working that day too?" I stop a moment and wonder how I was able to participate so much more in the past with my children in their schooling. I already know the answer and I sta...
Read more