The place

So Many GOOD things have happened! Syd is gaining function at an incredible rate and is blowing her teacher's away with her progress. Lauren is holding down a job and is happily married! Jess is getting almost straight A's in school and She feels more focused. Her ADD seems to be taking a back seat. Even Alyssa has shown wonderful progress! She decided to stop taking her meds for her Tourettes and she is not having any angry outbursts. It was the goal of her doctor when she was quite young that one day she would not need medicine.
Really there is only one thing dampening my day, but I find I have to go hide when I cry because I do not want anyone to know or think I am ungrateful. I even somehow hope to disguise my tears from God.  He has helped us SO much, maybe I am petty or childish. I suspect I am just sad to be reminded in such a blatant fashion that there really is something unusual in my kid's craniums...most of the time they appear normal so even I try not to remember the awful truth. Now that Alyssa's tics are back I just need to get used to them. Such a pretty girl and then the jerking and eye blinking starts followed by the squeaks. I remember before she was born I felt her strong soul around me. This was a person who really wanted to be born! I think of that now when I see her struggle...she wanted to come here....even to this. I think about Lauren's healing blessing when it said God had taken her aside and asked her to take this assignment, her autism,because she had held a sword against Satan and it was a protection to her. If that is true for Lauren, it has got to be true for Syd With her schizophrenia, Jess with her ADD, and true for every single one of us and the trials we go through.
Knowing this helps me not fall into utter despair! However, because I am a mortal mother, who loves these souls second only to their loving father in Heaven, I still have to go to my secret place and cry the tears that cannot be controlled anymore than the tics, jerks, or squeaks can be controlled .

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