Long road

Crazy week last week. And I am not using the term loosely. Burned a hole in the road between here and the psych hospital. I posted on Face book and then deleted later "Autism doesn't suck rocks..it suck boulders!!! and then the boulders crash though homes and kidz lives. It leaves families flat on the sidewalks saying "What the heck just hit me???" I deleted the post later... Mostly because in the 6 years that our family has been dealing with the fallout of autism we have met some really NICE people and some really NOT NICE people. some have even recommended "demon removal" for our children. Or perhaps they had been abused at some point by are quirky, yet happy, go-lucky family. Last night I made a decision that I don't give a crap anymore. I have done nothing wrong, except perhaps love my children too much. Not sleep when they are in the hospital. Barely breathe when they are hurting and eat a little too much chocolate while they are away from me. And in the end...might just not care about either the NICE group or the NOT so NICE group...my family and my sanity comes first and I am going to get my feelings out..."Autism does suck boulders!!!" In our family we have high-functioning autism(Asperger's)which is "great" as far as functionality goes. Not so great as far as depression and emotionality goes. Two kids with autism-related psychosis issues. Nah....However, God is kind. God does matter and I have seen His great love and mercy extended over and over on behalf of my family and my children. Is this the lesson I am to learn over and over from these experiences? if so, then I will shout it to the world. God does and has always sustained me. He does support in trial and he sends healing through miles and miles of cloud and space to reach and quiet a mother's troubled heart. I trust God a lone.

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