JESSIE'S VEGAS

I heard someone remark last week while glancing at their phone," Her posts are kind of a downer. I had to stop following her on Facebook ". I was surprised as this was an older woman who had had her share of troubles herself. The person she was referring to was a single mom thrust into the role of raising an autistic toddler...all...by...herself. I was quiet and walked on my way, but did reflect upon the fact that being a special needs parent costs more than being unfollowed  on FB. It costs $, it costs relationships, and , sometimes, it costs your own sanity. This October marks a year since we have been chasing a diagnosis for one of our kids. It has cost us a lot of $, some relationships and I have walked the tightrope of despair. Through it all, I have probably lost some FB followers myself. However, I am still surprised and so infinitely grateful for the people who have stayed with me. Who keeps inviting me out to waffles, Italian food, and seductive ice cream rendezvous....

Galatians 6:7-10 7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. 10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. These scriptures are called the law of the harvest. The harvest being referred to is the fruit of peace. The abundance received through the gift of the Holy Ghost. I met with a therapist last year that told me, "Don't ever say "at least" about experiences in your life. By doing that you are not acknowledging the emotion surrounding the experience." So I have spent the better half of a year paying homage to all the emotions and experiences that have gone wrong ...

 For my birthday this year, my mom asked what she needed to get me. I told her I wanted copies of a couple of pages from my dad's green journal. I did not even know he had a green journal he had been writing in for over 30 years until my oldest daughter mentioned it to me after a remarkable occurrence. Lauren had been working as a massage therapist at "Casinosage" in Las Vegas, Nevada. She had been a little discouraged as it was one of those commission based jobs where sometimes folks don't tip and essentially you are working for free.  Her shift had been fraught with drunk slot players who would rather put coins in the machine than tips in her palm so she had been close to tears. One woman asked for a massage while she played the slots and said to Lauren, "I have never had a massage before and it's my first time in Las Vegas." She then said as she was getting the chair massage, "Who is Dani and why is the number 15 important to her?" Lauren...

Lyrics If you only knew I'm hanging by a thread The web I spin for you If you only knew I'd sacrifice my beating Heart before I lose you I still hold onto the letters You returned I swear I've lived and learned It's 4:03 and I can't sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, if you only knew If you only knew How many times I counted All the words that went wrong If you only knew How I refuse to let you go, Even when you're gone I don't regret any days I Spent, nights we shared, Or letters that I sent It's 4:03 and I can't sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, if you only knew If you only knew I still hold onto the letters You retu...

"Would you rather have your thumb amputated or your big toe?" "Neither! I like all my toes and fingers to stay where they are, thank you!" "Hey, that's not how the game is played, " my youngest daughter complained as we made our way around the block. We sometimes played the game "Would You Rather" when we took strolls around the neighborhood as it made the time pass quicker and there was not as much complaining about exercising. "I know, but I don't like thinking about parts of my body being sliced off," the older sibling reasoned.  "Let's stick to other subjects. Like would you rather be stranded on a desert island or in an Antartica bunker?" "Ok. ok! I guess an island because there would be more to eat maybe, like coconuts!" As I listened to my kids' spar back and forth, my mind drifted back to a recent episode at work. My patient felt like she was in the "Would you rather...